What was it I was doing again?

Transformation

2012-02-12T14:54:00.002-05:00

"The important point is that transformation is not acquisition; rather, it is loss. We do not pick up new tools for living first; we first abandon what has served us so far, and in that moment between abandoning what has brought us this far and stepping into a new vessel is a moment of profound terror and joy."

— Cary Tennis

Desire

2012-02-07T13:57:00.003-05:00

"Go easy on yourself is one suggestion. Admit that you are not in charge, that your desires are bigger than you. Observe that moving and changing jobs and changing bars did not eliminate the condition of desire. That is because desire does not inhere in conditions or locations. It is in you; it is your desire. It is yours. Own it."

— Cary Tennis

Spring

2012-02-06T15:04:00.003-05:00

I have shaken off winter and the lurgy. I've got that annoying Spring in my step. I feel... perky. Ready. My head and my heart are full of beautiful noise. I'm a Dragon, this is my year. Time to start getting shit done. Expect great things.

Primal Wounds

2012-01-30T14:48:00.002-05:00

"...I like to think that all of us have one or a few primal wounds, be they sharp, hot, cringeworthy humiliations in class or on a sports field, or scoldings by a parent, or awful scenes witnessed, or periods of visitations by terrifying images, or nightmares, or illnesses or abandonment or any number of such things in childhood and early life: Primal wounds, perceived threats to our existence, experiences that caused us to shut down or diverge from our true nature, to hide, to begin repetitive or addictive actions to shunt the mind away from awareness, to adopt beliefs that are patently untrue but serve to shortcut our thinking away from what we cannot accept about ourselves … the ways we are warped are myriad and probably as infinite as the infinite possibilities of human personality: Each one of us has things we hide, things we are ashamed of, things we will not tell anyone, things we have done that are against our nature and against our teaching, times we lashed out, times we were out of control and did not understand how we could do what we did.

These things vary in scope and size, of course, and certain abuses repeated over a long period of time are fundamentally different in their effect from momentary events. But I like to think of them all as wounds because that gives us some hope, and it democratizes the arena of pain, so that we do not slight the person with seemingly insignificant traumas nor do we fill with hopelessness the person who has survived unimaginable horrors. The point is that we can all make progress. We can all move forward through sensations and memories that we do not understand; we can all make our way forward however strange things get.

For that is our nature as humans: to be actors in plays we don’t understand and have not rehearsed, to be mere passengers in bodies that run off without us, that shout or strike out or submit without our knowing, that perform puzzling acts without our consent. At times, in fact, living as humans with minds and bodies and memories, it can feel like we are mere landlords; we have as little to say over what we do and what happens to us and within us as a landlord does over his unruly tenants."

—Cary Tennis

De-Hoarding

2012-01-23T22:23:00.004-05:00

Two bags of stuff from the hallway sorted into:

yarn/roving et accoutrements
sewing/embroidery et accoutrements
fabric
electronics (gadgets, adapters, cables)
Goodwill donations
stuff I need to mail to people
trash

w00t!

Hoarding, Part II

2012-01-18T15:44:00.001-05:00

Prioritize this, bitches.

:)

A solution that is also a problem.

2012-01-17T14:30:00.002-05:00

"When I [used to] talk to my grandparents, they never thought that work was something that gave you meaning – it was just the way you put the roof over your head. But suddenly in the boomer generation, you have a very different way of thinking about work: It’s to be valuable, meaningful, honorable, enjoyable, a source of identity. That has now become a kind of standard for the way we think work should be."
— Katherine Newman

Hoarding

2012-01-12T15:56:00.004-05:00

I'm a quite disappointed and a little freaked out by my inability to get my house together over the two weeks I had off from work. Some of it can be explained away by needing to catch up on sleep, or the wonderful fact that I had so many people want to spend time with me, but I think it all still boils down to me Not Making It A Priority. And it needs to be A Priority.

I'm not a hoarder, but watching those shows and hearing how nearly every person had the death of a loved one trigger them over the edge scares the fuck out of me. I could be that person in about two seconds, I think. I am that close to the raggedy edge.

"God grant me the serenity to reorganize the things I need, the courage to toss the things I don't, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Chap Henry (aka No Pressure Or Anything, Tim)

2012-01-12T11:03:00.002-05:00

"Plunge into that. Make that your lifeline for now. Do whatever it takes to magnify and enhance those thoughts. Draw them. Make cartoons of them. Write dialogue. Create characters who act out these life options. Make a collage. Find photos and artwork and articles that relate to these life options and tape them onto a big piece of paper. Visualize these life options. Just spend time thinking about them. Write about it. Talk about it. Make it real to yourself. Live there. Spend some time living in this new life. At least in your mind. It will cheer you up. You’ll enjoy it. There’s no law against it. It will help.

It might not cure your depression right away, but it will help. It will be a refuge."

— Cary Tennis

On "Never"

2012-01-10T09:11:00.004-05:00

"A part of us, of course, likes the sound of 'never.' A part of us clings to it. And inasmuch as it allows us to feel the complete depth of the shock, it serves a purpose; it is poetic language. It is dramatic language. It indicates severity, or degree.

But beware the effect of such pronouncements, because they also work as prophecy. So find more poetic language, if you can; say that the depth of it is tearing you apart, that you feel devastated. You may need some kind of catharsis. Catharsis means working through. In fact, come to think of it, catharsis may be exactly what you need."

—Cary Tennis

My Dad: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

2011-12-16T12:07:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I entered a contest about holiday traditions with the story of Thanksgiving Day Massacre and won a bison roast. Thanks, Dad! Strange that you should be able to get me a gift this year; the shipping must have been super expensive from wherever you are.

I love you. I miss you.

Sorry

2011-12-02T19:21:00.002-05:00

No matter how nice your other parent or step-parents may be, car shopping without your dad really sucks.

Revelio!

2011-11-11T22:46:00.001-05:00

One day, some kind of glitch is going to happen on Blogger that makes all my drafts display.

I'm gonna be hella humiliated when that happens.

Fiercely Independent

2011-11-07T09:27:00.006-05:00

"We are told to be independent. But this is ridiculous. No one is independent. I got this instruction as well. I was taught to be independent. What did this mean? This meant distorting what is natural.

Teaching us to be 'independent' means teaching us to ignore our humanity, our feelings, our longing for community and interdependence, our very source of survival. To teach a child to be 'independent' is to perversely gift him with a legacy of exile. Is that what they mean to do? Of course not. This is simply how they have handled their own abandonment. So they pass it on to us. It is the best they can do. It is how they have coped."

—Cary Tennis

Dear Dad,

2011-10-31T19:47:00.001-04:00

I miss you.

Love,
me

A Hole In The World

2011-09-17T22:51:00.003-04:00

My dad died this morning. It was unexpected, but peaceful and in his sleep.

I loved him so much, I loved him more than anything. I loved him more than Patrick, and I loved him more than me. I'm going to miss him so much.

Kindnesses I must remember to pass on:

2011-08-24T12:27:00.007-04:00

1. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

2. Designated driving.

3. Late night compassion, even if you have to work in the morning.

4. A ukulele serenade.

5. Delicious brownies.

6. A dollar here, a dollar there.

7. ~~Opportunity.~~ Opportunities.

8. Invitations, some with couches and guest beds attached.

9. Dealing with the phone hassle on my behalf.

10. Answering my stupid questions.

11. Giving me something to do that I enjoy so I can feel useful and entertain myself.

12. Feeling wanted.

This is a list in progress.

An Open Letter to USAA

2011-06-09T16:08:00.004-04:00

Dear USAA,

I just wanted to thank you for the letter I got in the mail yesterday warning me that my credit limit might be decreased since my account is under review.

I'm so glad to know that USAA worries about its customers so much that it would take the extra time to protect them from the likes of me, a veritable bastion of financial ruin. How terrible am I? Let me count the ways: I have very dangerously paid my credit card and insurance bills on time for the more than ten years I've been a USAA customer -- oh, there was that one month when I was in my early twenties and still in college and I somehow missed a car insurance payment. When was that? 199… 8? 9? It should be easy to look up, since it was the very first payment I ever had with your company. You would think if I were such a high risk then you would never have gone on to provide me with home owners insurance (twice!), personal property insurance, a savings account, a Roth IRA, and a credit card. My other disastrously irresponsible acts have included paying more than minimum payment on said card, asking for my credit limit to be lowered when you kept jacking it up ridiculously high, and sometimes carrying a zero balance for multiple months in a row!

But I understand that USAA needs to look at all my accounts, not just the ones I have with you. So there was that period of extreme financial flakiness where I paid two mortgages, on time, every month, for nearly a year as I was trying to sell my old house, before I got pulled under by the housing collapse and was forced to declare bankruptcy. Oh, and don't forget -- even though my current mortgage is held by Bank of America (neé Countrywide), which apparently can't tell its ass from a hole in the ground (if I'm to believe the outcomes of several recent lawsuits) -- that my entire outlook on financial matters is so reckless that I only pay between $50 and $100 extra on my mortgage every month. All that while IN Chapter 13 bankruptcy repayment! Truly, I am an unreliable flibbertigibbet!

Shall we look at my utility bills? I carry a ~$40 credit every month with my cable company, plus a ~$150 credit with both my gas company AND my electric company. I suppose my electric credit would be higher, but I donate to their WinterCare program every month. Completely immature of me, I know. It's as if my silly little brain is just constantly distracted by shiny things rather than focusing on my fiscal responsibilities!

So thank you. Thank you for protecting your other customers from me. Thank you for making me feel like the dog crap on the bottom of your shoe for not having a trust fund or sugar daddy to bail me out when the recession hit. Thank you for making me feel like a criminal because I had to declare bankruptcy. It really made my day to know how much USAA cares.

In case you've ever wondered what it looks like on me:

2011-03-06T15:11:00.001-05:00

(in chronological order)

Someone is being emo! Hint: and it's not me! Lol

It's not like that anymore.

Sarabeth made Tim call!

So many Jerreth.

It's moving

I dreamed you called

Mira a quien es!

Weasel to weasel, Coke.

Shopping

2010-09-21T11:53:00.003-04:00

I love to window shop on Etsy, if you can't tell by my postings on FB. It's quite possibly the only place I like to window shop, because everything else always feels like "the tour of beautiful things that I can't have." On Etsy I can usually find something small, wonderful, within my price range, and minus the guilt and waste that comes from buying cheap plastic crap from China. (Target's $1 section, I'm looking at you.)

So, when I find something I like, I mark it as a favorite. Sometimes I buy from my favorites list; more often these items are sold to other people. But recently I went back and look at my favorites from start to finish (only 8 pages) to see the progression of mood and interest. Apparently, my brain works like this:

Ceramic bowls
Anatomical heart-themed jewelry and goods
Silver rings
Raven-themed clothes and jewelry
Green and/or orange silver earrings
iPod cases with eyeballs, skulls, or made to look like cassettes
Fandom-themed cross stitch
Anatomical heart-themed jewelry and goods
Ceramic teapots
Green and orange purses/wallets
Stewart plaid items (including a cephalopod)
Silver rings
Ceramic sugar/salt bowls (including a cephalopod)
Raven-themed jewelry, purses, and decorations
Silver rings
Orange and silver earrings
Stewart plaid items (including a bat)
Anatomical heart jewelry
Flower and star stitch markers
Green and orange purses/wallets
Ceramic plates and bowls
Anatomical heart jewelry
Stewart plaid items (including another cephalopod)
Earrings (skulls, green/orange, red)
Zombies
Anatomical Heart pint glasses
Silver rings
Glass "marital aids"
Orange and silver earrings
Hand painted mugs
Stewart plaid items (including a sporran, umbrella, and book of songs)
Skull hair accessories
Black fabric jewelry/accessories
Silver earrings
Tiny pouch bags that look like animals
Masks and disembodied heads
Stewart plaid items (including buttons)
Dodecahedron dice cuff links
Ceramic plates
Amigurumi patterns
Soviet-era clocks and watches
Plaid items (including light switch covers and many hair accessories)
Silver, orange, and black earrings
Linen clothing

Art Fun

2010-08-13T15:52:00.003-04:00

Btw, I've started a separate blog just for art stuff over at ZabetGroznaya.com.

[Please note: Site is not my design. It's a template. Just want to make sure we're clear on that.]

A nearly unenforceable law that has its heart in the right place.

2010-07-15T19:22:00.001-04:00

Until not using one's (un)common sense becomes illegal, I'll have to settle for this:

Law Against Texting And Driving Goes Into Effect

"Because it's my birthday" Part 3

2010-05-04T12:29:00.003-04:00

Gave away pints of my secret recipe, ho'made BBQ sauce.

Decided to finally try the different variates of Cholula hot sauce.

Loaded up on chocolate-covered cacao nibs.

Sang terrible lounge renditions of 80s songs with strangers and loved ones.

Bought the final 8 sk of discontinued orange Beaverslide yarn.

Ordered a 1.5 TB external hard drive so that we can digitize all our movies and not have to store so many freaking DVDs.

"Because it's my birthday" part 2

2010-04-26T05:24:00.001-04:00

Broke my Starbucks fast with a triple-shot mocha.

Ate fresh mozzarella on fresh french bread.

Spent most of yesterday with almost all my favorite people in Lexington.

Let the birthday madness begin!

2010-04-25T03:08:00.003-04:00

You can tell it's madness, because it's nearly 4am and I'm still simmering BBQ sauce for a birthday cookout tomorrow. (To be fair, I had a five-hour "nap" this afternoon.)

Casey and I are combining superbirthday powers for the party tomorrow. It is, strangely, an outside gig at one of the city parks, and we are surely going to be rained upon. A lot. But we've paid our $50 to the city for a shelter and are determined to have fun anyway. Note to self: dress in layers.

Next weekend we're heading to NC so my sister and I can also celebrate our double birthdays. There will be Felix Felicis (Ale-8-1 + bourbon), knitting, probably some singing, and definitely a trip to Asheville for Chai Paani and the French Broad Chocolate Lounge.

The weekend after we're spending with the wizard kids of Southern Ohio. I don't know if you remember, but about five years ago we found a place called MagiQuest in/near Myrtle Beach, SC, and apparently there is one in Cinci now, too. Drunken wand waving and candid photo opportunities await!

Things I have done thus far this month "because it's my birthday": arranged many celebratory weekends, made frozen sangria, and bought a steam mop. More to come.

And there was Bamboo. And it was Good.

2010-04-01T10:15:00.006-04:00

Hubby and I have been talking for years now about how gorgeous bamboo floors are, and how awesome it is that the side benefits include being harder than hardwood and more ecologically friendly because of bamboo's sustainability. But, you know, we're still living a little bit like college students (sans milk crate shelves), and we're not the most DIY-driven folks on the planet.

So last year, when this tax credit thing happened - the $800 whatever thing, I couldn't make heads or tails of it. This really worried me, because I'm pretty smart. I gave into some mild paranoia and decided instead of trying to figure it out, I'd just adjust our W-4s so that we were bringing home the same amount as we were before the credit. Then I didn't think about it anymore.

Until we had our taxes done, anyway.

Holy cow! Such a big return!!

In the meanwhile, our tomcat had decided to get pretty friendly with a particular corner of our front room while we were gone to Puerto Rico. And the bunny, ever territorial, entered into a literal pissing contest with him over it. We pulled up carpet. We enzyme-treated. We blocked the area off. We finally put down some puppy-training pads and that sort of worked, but by then the subfloor was already seriously damaged.

We'd been wanting to pull up the carpet since we bought the place. It's at least 10 yrs old, if not original to the house. So we took this as our Sign from the Universe to keep pulling out the carpet on the first floor, at least, and our big tax return as the Universal Nod to put down some durable new flooring.

We seriously considered ceramic tiles, even though they would be cold as hell in the winter and would likely confuse any future buyers. (Ceramic tiles work great as flooring -- in Florida, Texas, New Mexico... You get the idea. Not in the K-Y.) It was sheer chance that we got online and checked at Lumber Liquidators, and there it was, the style and color of bamboo we had always said we'd wanted, on the front page and on sale for $1.79/sq ft. My co-worker who has hired and fired most every contractor/carpenter/plumber/electrician in Lexington while renovating her 100-yr old house gave us the name of a good guy, who in turn gave us a good quote. We went forward with it and now...

Pictures of the new floor. (Which still needs to be swept.)

Edited to add:
I really must be in a rambling, slightly philosphical sort of mood, for Blogger to seduce me back twice in the same day from the pithy wiles of Facebook.

Seriously, though, having this new, cat-resistant, beautiful floor is strange. I feel like it was a magical gift that fell from the sky, one that I somehow don't deserve. I know, however, that it was because Hubby and I were sacrificing more each month out of our paychecks (which really, we just would have spent on eating out if you want to be brutally honest about it) and reaping the rewards of our frugality.

Also, its shiny-newness has underscored the general shabbiness of the rest of the house. Don't get me wrong, it's not falling down or anything, but any scuffmarks on the walls or dirt on the baseboards, any cobwebs in the corners or spots on the windows just seem to really stand out next to the gleaming bamboo. I think it might just spur me to up my housekeeping game. And it's time for a good Spring Cleaning anyway. So, before we put the fridge back against the wall, we'll vacuum down the coils on the back. Maybe even rip out the wallpaper that was behind it. (That Gods-awful '80s country-chic dusty-blue-with-stylized-pineapples number, if you'll remember.) Stuff like that.

And then, it will all be ready for our first guests of the year: Matt, Justin, and Brian, and maybe a few of the HP-Ohio and SLAW folks crashing in the nooks and crannies!

Spring is good. I feel recharged. Rawr. :)

True.

2010-03-14T22:08:00.003-04:00

Hubby said something that really put it in perspective for me. He doesn't listen to anyone. He doesn't believe anyone. It's not just me. It's not personal. Ok, it still hurts, I'm still angry if I think about it, but I'm not dwelling on it now. Onward.

P.S. Hubby rocks.

WTF

2010-03-11T21:59:00.001-05:00

Thirty damn years old an no one ever believes me. No wonder I'm so fucked up.

Waiting for the third shoe to drop.

2010-02-23T09:36:00.002-05:00

Goodbye, Jumbo. You were stinky but sweet.

You could say it is kite weather.

2010-02-22T09:16:00.000-05:00

I'd been putting this one off, but now it can't be put off any longer.

I imagined her in the woods, with a hand spade, digging what looks to be a small garden plot. I imagined her, for some reason, smoking a pipe, and saying things like "whoopty fucking doo" when folks tried to convince her she might be crazy. I imagined her crawling into the earth, snuggling down, and pulling some leaves over herself because she had decided it was time.

That's not at all how it happened, of course. I never even met her.

But I still admired her, and as much as I fucking hate this world, I know she's got to be somewhere better.

Hello, goodbye, Kite, and thank you.

Stomach Bug Development Timeline

2010-02-14T22:37:00.001-05:00

All typos are sic.

February 8 at 3:24pm
Zabet Stewart is ill.

February 8 at 6:50pm
Zabet Stewart Doesnt remember buying a ticket for the Vomit Comet.

February 8 at 8:56pm
Zabet Stewart Six

February 8 at 9:12pm
Zabet Stewart Dear stomach, pls stop producing so much bile. i'm the one of us that gets to be bitter and vitriolic.

February 8 at 11:59pm
Zabet Stewart Am keeping down ice now. Train or light at end of tunnel?

February 9 at 12:46am
Zabet Stewart Train. Really big train.

February 9 at 8:36am
Zabet Stewart Eleven

February 9 at 10:32am
Zabet Stewart 2 oz Pedialyte, woo

February 9 at 1:34pm
Zabet Stewart More Pedialyte went ok. Been 40 hrs since I ate last. Gonna try dry toast.

February 9 at 6:20pm
Zabet Stewart is going to make stew by proxy tonight. Think good thoughts for Patrick; he tends to cut himself with kitchen knives.

February 9 at 7:33pm
Zabet Stewart | You know how parents have those really disgusting stories about that time their kid got sick? Patrick now has one of those about me. I think he should get a medal.

February 10 at 9:29am
Zabet Stewart | Dear Salmi and Provolone Sandwich: I love you.

Change in plan.

2010-02-04T16:40:00.004-05:00

I started this post with the intention of telling the tale of how much unbelievable run-around I've been getting from various pharmacies in Lexington trying to get one prescription filled, but I got a text from my dad in the middle of it.

You see, yesterday he called me while trying to merge onto the interstate and I chided him for talking on the phone and driving. Today he sent a text instead: "Txtng and driving woo hoo!" [sic]

This is a message I would expect to get from my niece or nephew.

So, I'd like to take this time to remind everyone that distracted driving (that's talking on the phone, texting, eating, etc.) raised your chance of having an accident by 30%. Please drive safely. I already almost lost Bug through a windshield, I'd like to keep the rest of you around.

Ugh

2010-01-07T16:03:00.000-05:00

Flu.

Riotous

2009-12-22T11:02:00.002-05:00

Can't help it. I love plaid.

It occurred to me that if I learned to weave, I could MAKE plaid. I could make giant Stewart plaid blankets. The thought pleased me very much. I, of course, don't have a loom and could never afford one big enough to make a huge blanket, but I am pleased nonetheless.

Zabet's (Not So Cheap) Eats: Pan Cake

2009-12-22T06:48:00.004-05:00

I love pancakes but hate standing at the griddle for 20 minutes, watching the first pancakes get cold as I flip the last few. Laziness is truly the mother of invention. I give you: Pan Cake (photos to come)

1 tbsp of real butter, room temperature
2 cups reduced-fat Bisquick
2 large eggs (or egg substitute)
2 cups low-fat buttermilk

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Grease either an 8"x8" glass baking dish or a 9" glass pie dish with butter, covering thoroughly and thickly.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine remaining ingredients and whisk together until no lumps remain. Pour into prepared dish.

Bake at 350ºF for 35 minutes or until a fork inserted in the center comes out mostly clean.

Slice and serve with your favorite pancake toppings. (Personally, I just like a little butter and glass of OJ on the side.)

Makes 4 servings. I've not doubled this, so if you want to serve a crowd, I'd recommend experimenting beforehand or use two 8"x8" dishes/9" pie dishes side-by-side in the oven.

Also? Visually, I like it better made in the 9" pie dish.

Summed up simply, eloquently, and rationally:

2009-12-05T16:11:00.000-05:00

The Subtle Cruelty of Facebook

2009-12-04T14:08:00.001-05:00

You find someone from your past and friend him or her. The memory accepts your request and becomes a real person again. You share in their joys and triumphs, their letdowns and sorrow. They share in yours. You build new images of the someone you previously only knew in a single context.

More memories appear in connection, a vast network of shadows and tricks of the light that make sparks in your mind. One of them is bittersweet. Your cynicism overtakes you and you make mental wagers as to how long before a binary wall is built to obscure you from view. A few days pass and you seriously consider going on the offensive. In the end, however, you reconsider. You think it's been long enough. You think you've got a shot. You think the kettle could be put on and a cup of tea shared and things could just be comfortable again, friendly and funny. You don't push. You don't send messages, write on walls, or request friendship. You just let the bittersweetness linger in a familiar way and hope it resonates.

And Facebook, in its hardcoded, gentle politeness, doesn't mention that you are not, apparently, bittersweet in kind. It doesn't point out that your memory is actually busy living its own life. It doesn't so much as whisper when the wall is built.

All this you find out on your own, months later. When you thought things had been going so well.

Percussion Whore

2009-11-16T11:19:00.001-05:00

I have serious love for drums, but also for other types of percussion. I totally just bought myself a kosika, and hope to soon be able to do this:

Urban Wildlife!

2009-10-23T11:43:00.002-04:00

This peregrine falcon lives and hunts around the University hospital. I work on the top floor of the building across the street from the hospital, so when we're lucky, my coworkers and I get a glimpse of this guy as he flies by. Today we were extra-lucky -- he decided to sit on our terrace for about 20 minutes! We got this pic through the tinted glass windows of our office. He was probably less than 10 feet away.

Dear Smead Office Products,

2009-10-20T11:27:00.003-04:00

Hello, I recently ordered a "100% Recycled Expanding File - Letter Sized - Green Tea" through my office. The product arrived today and itself is quite satisfactory, but I would like to address the issue of packaging.

Of the expanding file folders available to me, I chose this one because of its recycled content. I firmly believe that every little bit helps, so you can imagine my dismay when it arrived shrink wrapped in plastic. Further, there was more plastic beneath that in the form of a 3" wide band that went around the folder, presumably to keep it from expanding; never mind that there is an attached elastic band for that. Lastly there was a 8.5"x11" sheet of paper attached to the front of the folder with rubbery glue. I realize you need to brand your folder and place a UPC on the product, but this could have been done directly onto the folder or on a sheet of paper half - maybe even a quarter - of the size used. There was not so much information on the sheet of paper that it could not have been redesigned to be smaller without loosing readability. I also doubt the paper itself was recycled.

So here's my suggestion: how about making a green product that doesn't require the customer to throw away anything just to use it. You might even save some money because you won't be paying for all that plastic and will only need half as much printing.

Zabet's (kinda cheap) Eats

2009-10-15T23:51:00.003-04:00

Weird Bean Thing
I don't have a photo because, frankly, it's not attractive. Also, I forgot. This dish is weird because it's not soup, not a stew, not a casserole. The closest thing I can say to describe it is "warm bean salad" and doesn't sound appetizing. It was a total experiment, and it was tasty if un-label-able.

NOTE: This recipe will ONLY work with a pressure cooker. Try to do it without one and you won't have enough liquid at all. You can add more liquid (you'll probably need 5 cups, total), but it'll be like a thick bean soup rather than this strange salad-thing I got. If you're going to go this route, also only add the potatoes about 30 minutes before you think your beans are done.

2 cups organic dried kidney beans
1 tsp salt
1 tsp celery salt
1 heaping Tbsp fresh rosemary leaves (can minced after measuring; I left my whole)
8 smallish red potatoes
5 garlic cloves, peeled and cut into large slivers
1 can Dole No Salt Added Green Beans, drained and liquid reserved in a measuring cup - add water to make it 1 cup if need be
1/4 cup water (in addition to water used above, if any)
1/4 cup V8

Soak dried kidney beans overnight. Drain and rinse.

Place all ingredients in pressure cooker. Mix well so that the ingredients are well-distributed.

Place lid on cooker. Heat on high until at 15lbs pressure. Reduce heat to minimum needed to keep pressure and cook for 12 minutes. Allow to pressure to release naturally for at 15 min before doing any quick-release methods. Open pressure cooker. Mash a little bit with a potato masher or slotted spoon. Stir and serve.

Is also nummy when garnished with cheddar cheese, though the subtly of the rosemary is lost. Can easily take more garlic if you like it, because the garlic mellows considerably.

Makes about 6 cups of weird bean salad. 2 cups is a good single serving size for adults.

Eats

2009-10-07T02:34:00.003-04:00

This week, I am making non-vegetarian chili; pot roast with green beans, potatoes, carrots, and rosemary; some more of that superyummy "muligalentil" soup; and a pan of baked pasta covered in cheese.

And even though I brought home literally 5 lbs of dried beans (black and kidney) from the Co-Op this evening, I've only just realized that I've run out of red lentils. D'oh.

Today

2009-09-11T10:01:00.003-04:00

Another year past and what have I learned?

There are a lot more racists left in America than I ever could have imagined.

I get a secret pleasure from the thought that Latinos will soon outnumber the descendants of European immigrants. Not that anyone should be oppressing anyone else, just that it will shake up the status quo, ¿sabe?

Zabet's Cheap Eats Lunch

2009-09-08T11:21:00.004-04:00

Not-Quite-Minestrone Couscous

As mentioned below, I used some of the Not-Quite-Minestrone soup to make some couscous (2:1 hot liquid to couscous, let sit off heat for 5 minutes). It was good, but more of a side-dish thing than something to bring to work for lunch.

I pulled out the Cookware of Doom and Shrapnel—er, I mean, pressure cooker—and re-appropriated some soaked kidney beans I had been planning to use for bean tacos and cooked them up in some soup (and a little bit of salt and Italian Seasoning) as well, then mixed them in with the remaining couscous.

They are not so yellow as this crappy cameraphone pic would lead you to believe. But they are NOM.

Zabet's Cheap Eats #9

2009-09-07T00:09:00.005-04:00

Not-Quite-Minestrone Potage

This is another "cleaning out the pantry" dish. It's a light tomato soup that is good for sipping out of a mug (say, at the office for a working lunch) or as a compliment to a heavy grilled cheese sandwich. The lentils give it the taste and mouth-feel of a hearty minestrone without making you want to take a nap after eating.

Ingredients
1 28oz. can of Italian-seasoned diced tomatoes (garlic, basil, oregano; $1.99)
1/2 cup dry lentils du Puy (aka French lentils; $0.50)
1 tsp. Better Than Bouillon Vegetarian Chicken
2 onions, finely chopped ($0.88)
pinch of thyme
8 black peppercorns, freshly ground (about 3/4 tsp.)
salt to taste
6 cups water

Directions
Pick over lentils for anything yucky and rinse until the water runs clear. Combine all ingredients in a stock pot and bring to a boil. Let simmer until lentils are soft and broth is reduced down as far as you'd like. Go nuts with an immersion blender. Voila.

If you have more lentils (I was trying to use up the little bit I had leftover), feel free to add them without worrying about adjusting the amount of water added, and you'll have a much heartier soup. This recipe is also a good base for adding just about any veggies you like for heartier soup.

Makes a heck of a lot.*
Total for the whole shebang: $3.37

Note: I got 2+ quarts, but I'm just storing it in quart mason jars because I recently bought some and had jars to spare, not actually canning or preserving it.

Sept 7 addition: I just used this soup as the liquid in making some couscous and it is FAB.

Zabet's Cheap Eats Link

2009-09-03T10:57:00.002-04:00

This link from my friend Robyn just underscores how zucchini is the perfect filler:

Zucchini Bread Oatmeal

Granted, I'm not up to eating zucchini in anything other savory dishes, but a lot of other people seem ok with it, so this is for them.

A People's History of American Empire by Howard Zinn

2009-09-02T16:48:00.001-04:00

Zabet's (sort of) Cheap Eats #8

2009-08-27T08:56:00.005-04:00

In-No-Way-Actually-Mexican Enchilada Pie
But if you have a weakness for cheap red enchilada sauce, like I do, it's fabulous. You can, of course, make your own red sauce.

Ingredients
1/2 cup dry quinoa
1 cup water
pinch of salt
2 tsp chili powder
1 large green bell pepper
3 smallish zucchini, divided
2 onions, divided
2 cups cooked black beans, drained (I pressure-cooked mine, you can use a can)
2 cups shredded colby-jack cheese
19 oz can of Old El Paso enchilada sauce, divided
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
18 corn tortillas

Directions
Step 1: Cook the quinoa.
Bring water, salt, and chili powder to a boil in small saucepan. While waiting, rinse quinoa. Add quinoa to boiling water, cover, reduce heat, and let simmer 10 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand 5 minutes. Transfer cooked quinoa to a large mixing bowl and let cool in fridge or freezer while working on Step 2.

Step 2: Prepare the veggie layer.
Wash and finely chop two zucchinis, the bell pepper, and one onion. Add to a mixing bowl with black beans. Pour in 1/4 can of enchilada sauce and mix well to coat the veggies and beans. Add more sauce if necessary, up to half the can.

Step 3: Prepare the cheese layer.
Wash and peel remaining zucchini. Finely chop it and the remaining onion. Add these veggies and the colby-jack cheese to the bowl with the cooled quinoa. Mix well.

Step 4: Layer it up.
Heat oven to 400°F. Lightly grease a 15x10 glass baking dish. Arrange 6 corn tortillas on the bottom. Add half of the veggie mixture on top, evenly spread out. Arrange another 6 corn tortillas on top. Add all of the cheese mixture. Arrange last 6 corn tortillas on top. Spread remaining veggie mixture on top. Pour remaining enchilada sauce evenly over layer. Sprinkle cheddar cheese on top.

Step 5: Bake.
Cover with foil and bake for at least 45 minutes (onions will still have a little crunch) but no longer than 60 minutes. Remove from oven and let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Makes a whole hell of a lot of enchilada pie. Hubby says he thought the zucchini were a little bland (personally, the fact that I can't taste the zucchini is what I like about it), so if you're feeling really industrious, you could let the veggie mixture marinate for an hour in the enchilada sauce.

If you have corn tortillas left over you can make them into nommy tortilla chips by lightly greasing a cookie sheet, cutting the rounds into 1/6ths, putting them on the sheet, and spraying them with oil. (Nonstick cooking spray or a Misto works great here.) Bake at 400°F until golden, about 5 minutes.

"Would you like to play Global Thermonuclear War?"

2009-08-24T11:46:00.003-04:00

...is what Hubby asked me last night as I unboxed my new pressure cooker. (Presto, 8qt, stainless steel, if you are keen on pressure cookers.) "I mean," he continued, correcting himself, "are you going to cook something?"

Americans, it seems, are trained to fear pressure cookers. I only finally bought one under pressure from my Naughty Indian Coworker. Her argument: "My pressure cooker comes from a third-world country and its not killed anyone yet." Surely, I thought, modern first-world pressure cookers are no longer the deathtraps we've been lead to believe they are. (They're not. Apparently the Swiss redesigned them. Go Swiss!)

So I pretty much bought one that was as large as I could afford without being aluminum. This is both a nod to my mother's fear of developing Alzheimer's and a silent prayer that some day I'll have a kitchen with an induction cooktop, which requires either cast iron or stainless steel. The brand had good reviews both about the product and the customer service from the company.

I soaked a mix of kidney, black, and pinto beans yesterday, meaning to try the cooker out this evening, but I couldn't wait. At 1am, in went the beans, a large can of diced tomatoes, a roughly chopped Vidalia onion and green pepper, two hastily minced cloves of garlic, a teaspoon of ground cumin (which was all I had; must remember to buy more), two teaspoons of salt, and three tablespoons of chili powder.

I won't lie, I was extremely nervous while I heated it to full pressure. But everything seemed to be going by what the instruction manual and Naughty Indian Coworker had said. Seven minutes later, I removed the pot from the heat and Hubby and I watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory while it cooled.

Best chili I've ever made, hands down—eating some right now for lunch! I am totally in love with this little shrapnel grenade wannabe. Hello, new friend!

Zabet's (sort of) Cheap Eats #7

2009-08-20T09:09:00.003-04:00

Chicken and Chickpea Stew

Note to self: My tendency to only cook late at night has made me realize that it's near impossible to get a decent photo of food, and using the camera in the iPhone only compounds the issue.

I had wanted to add peanuts to this, but didn't have any on hand and was already naked so I wasn't about to go out and get some. I could have added peanut butter, but I'm not a barbarian.

Ingredients
12 oz. organic dried chickpeas (aka garbanzo beans, channa)
4 cups (1 box) organic, low sodium veggie or chicken broth
2 tsp salt (or to taste; 2 tsp made it a little saltier than I'd like personally)
1 lb. boneless chicken breast
1 fresh jalapeño, minced (add more or less as you like)
1 Tbsp garam masala
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Extra water as needed

Directions
Pick through chickpeas for rocks and various yucky things. Soak overnight in cold water. Drain and rinse chickpeas before cooking. Discard soaking water.

In a small stockpot, add chickpeas, broth, and salt. Bring to a boil, cover tightly, and simmer for two or three hours, or until chickpeas are near desired tenderness.

Add chicken, jalapeños, garam masala, and cinnamon. Mix well. Add water until just covered. Cover loosely and let just barely simmer until chicken shreds as you stir it, about another two hours.

Makes four servings.
Costs about $10 for the meal. (I got the chicken on sale.)

Eats

2009-08-19T13:40:00.002-04:00

I gotta say, since the budget has recovered, I'm not so obsessed about keeping track of how much each meal costs. Then later I think, "Damn! If I had gotten a photo and knew how much it cost, this totally could have been a Cheap Eats!"

There are two more recipes I want to do that I intend to make within the next two weeks. They aren't exactly cheap -- not on purpose anyway -- but they sound really nummy in my head. I've not worked out exactly what I'm gonna do, but basically one will be a chicken and chickpea stew and the other will be veggie enchiladas with a quinoa side dish.

Mmmmmmmm... I'll let you know how they turn out. And I'll try to remember to take pictures!

Zabet's Cheap Eats Tip

2009-08-12T13:30:00.005-04:00

'Tis the season for a fuckload of zucchini!

If you're like me and avoid the Great Outdoors with a passion and generally hate gardening because you're pretty much allergic to everything you touch (or that stings you), you absolutely must find the Green Thumb in your circle of friends, because chances are that he or she has a vegetable garden and WILL BE completely overrun with zucchini come August.

So how do massive amounts of zucchini fit into the Cheap Eats? Simple:

1. They are FREE. Your gardening friends will either be anxious to have their veggies eaten before they rot, proud of their garden and looking to show off, entirely sick of eating nothing but zucchini for the past two weeks, or any combination thereof. This works to your advantage, because while buying local, organic zucch at the Co-Op is awesome, getting FREE local, organic zucch from your friends is awesomer.

2. They are fabulous dish-extenders. Your sister brought her boyfriend to the cookout? Mince that zucch and mix it into your ground beef with seasonings before making putting those hamburger patties on the grill. Also in the awesome extender department is the fact that...

3. ...they are the tofu of vegetables. A zucchini will pick up any flavor you surround it with. Lentil soup? Namaste! Spaghetti sauce? Ciao! Cheese enchiladas? Olé!

4. They can be sneaky! If you, like me, suffer from squash-related phobias*, you can peel and puree the suckers into oblivion before adding them to most dishes, whereupon they hide themselves in between the other delicious molecules, never to be seen again.

--------------
*In my defense, I've worked on this enough to be able to eat chopped, unpeeled zucchini in dishes. Other forms of squash are still right out, though. Don't even get me started on eggplant. (It's an abomination.)

Stunned.

2009-08-07T22:21:00.002-04:00

I knew Amanda Palmer was going to sign the books. Did she say Neil Gaiman was as well? I honestly can't remember. But anyway, I suppose it became inevitable once they started dating.

It's weird. I am now three degrees of separation from Neil Gaiman. I don't think my heart can handle it, never mind the fact that AFP has written my name twice. I mean really, how many Zabets can there be? (Yes, I am in serious fangirl mode. The only thing that could make this better would be if Joss Whedon misdialed and got my cell phone.)

Behold.

*SWOON*

Good Quote

2009-08-07T11:20:00.002-04:00

Having met as a journalist any number of political figures of my time who subsequently became part of our history, and having watched events as they happened, and now see what is recorded as history, I have come to one conclusion: Most of history is indeed an agreed upon lie, either by consensus of an unenlightened people, or through perpetuation by larger ongoing forces in power at the moment. So I think it's always best to doubt the history that is most readily available to you. It's available for a reason. Maybe even discard history altogether in making current decisions, because history truly does not repeat itself much anymore, if it ever did. We live in our own specific and unique moment, but choose to believe there is precedent so as not to feel so adrift, or to delude ourselves that every previous act and action was destined to deliver us unto what we presently are. A fabricated mental construction of continuity as validation. "He who does not learn from history ..." is free from the illusion that what has happened in the past circumscribes what can happen in the future.

—Joe Bageant

http://www.joebageant.com/joe/2009/08/a-rambling-reply-to-robert.html

Zabet's Cheap Eats #6

2009-08-05T20:02:00.004-04:00

Cheesy, But In A Good Way

This was a "throw together things from the pantry/fridge" night.

Ingredients
leftover roasted chicken, cut into strips (~$3.00)
1 can Del Monte No Salt Added green beans (including juice; $1.06)
Pinch of salt
1 Tbsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp Better than Bullion No-Chicken Base
3 cups water
1 lb dry penne pasta ($1.50)
5 slices American cheese (free; Patrick brought them home from a family reunion along with other leftovers)

Directions
In a deep skillet with a cover (I used an 11" sauté pan), combine chicken, green beans, salt, Italian seasoning, and bullion. Bring to a boil, stir to mix in bullion.

Add water, bring to a boil. Mix in dry pasta and cover. Reduce heat and simmer 6 minutes.

Stir to make sure the pasta is being evenly cooked. Place cheese slices on top, cover again, and simmer another 6 minutes.

Stir again, replace cover, and simmer until the liquid is absorbed and the pasta is al dente, about another 4 minutes.

Makes 3-4 servings.
Total for the whole shebang: $5.56
Total per serving: $1.85 - $1.39

Zabet's Cheap Eats #5

2009-08-01T15:28:00.006-04:00

Yellow Rice and Chicken Stuffed Green Peppers

Yellow Rice and Chicken (Arroz con Pollo) is a Cuban staple in my family's repertoire. Usually it's made in one big pot, but I decided to stuff these peppers because I thought it would be pretty. We made it cheaper by omitting the chicken, but if you want to add some, brown it before sautéing the veggies and add a little more oil if you need it once the veggies are in.

Ingredients
1/2 Tbsp butter or olive oil
2 onions, chopped ($0.88)
2 cloves of local, organic garlic, minced ($0.16)
1 medium local, organic zucchini, chopped ($0.99)
3 small local, organic roma tomatoes, divided ($1.17)
1/2 tsp salt
1 bay leaf
1 Vigo "seasoning and coloring" packet*
2 scant cups chicken broth (or veggie broth; $1.75)
1 cup dry quinoa ($1.50)
8 local, organic green bell peppers ($4.56)

Directions
Rinse your quinoa well (even if it says it's pre-rinsed) before starting. The seeds are coated with a bitter-tasting layer (naturally made by the plant) to discourage insects from eating them. An extra rinse is always a good idea.

In a large saucepan, sauté onions and garlic in oil until golden. Chop two of the tomatoes.

Add the chopped tomatoes and the zucchini to the pan, sauté two more minutes.

Add salt, bay leaf, and seasoning packet* to the pan and stir to coat vegetables.

Add chicken broth. Stir to pick up any brown on the bottom of the pan. Raise heat and bring to a boil.

Add rinsed quinoa, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat. If it looks a little wet (it should be the consistency of cooked rice), let it sit for 5 minutes before stuffing the peppers.

Slice remaining tomato. Stuff peppers and garnish each with a tomato slice. Place in a lightly greased dish and cover with lightly greased foil. Bake for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees, or until peppers become a darker shade of green.

Makes four servings of two stuffed peppers each
Total cost for the whole shebang: $11.01
Cost per serving: $2.75

---------------
*If you can't find any of this, you can substitute a few threads of saffron and a 1/4 tsp sweet paprika. And honestly, yours will probably taste better. The Vigo has MSG in it and not enough saffron.

Zabet's Cheap Eats Short Sweet Stop

2009-07-31T15:01:00.003-04:00

I wasn't really ever planning on including desserts in this, as I think of dessert as kind of a not really necessary thing when you're in "Oh dear Gods, my budget!" mode. (You should see the hairshirt I've been wearing around the house, too, hee.) But I bought this ricotta cheese for stuffing green peppers (which didn't happen; I'll explain that in another Cheap Eats post) and then I found myself with a pound of organic strawberries for which the Co-op seems to have forgotten to charge me. Both cost $4, so I put them together into an $8 dessert that magically only cost $4. Besides, I had to do something with them. Can't just let it rot in the fridge!

Ingredients
30 oz. low-fat ricotta ($3.99)
1/2 cup confectioner's (powdered) sugar*
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp ground cinnamon
organic strawberries, rinsed and halved (free!**)

Directions
Dump everything but the strawberries into a mixing bowl. Mix well. Scoop onto plates and garnish with strawberries.

The best part is that you can store the leftover in the container the ricotta came in!

Makes 8 half-cup servings.
Total for the whole shebang: $3.99
Total per serving: $0.50
----------------
*Those cutting back on sugar can try these options:
Reduced sugar: 1/4 cup powdered sugar and 4 packs of Splenda
No sugar: 8 - 10 packs of Splenda, to taste
(You know in 10 years we're all gonna find out that Splenda does something horrible to us, right? Ok, so long as we're all on the same page.)

**You realize, of course, that owning a share of the Co-op means by Saturday I'll feel so guilty about this free-strawberry oversight that I'll go down there and pay for them. But for now, just let me revel in their free-ness.

Zabet's Cheap Eats #4

2009-07-27T22:26:00.006-04:00

Muligalentil Soup
I am a big fan of a particular recipe for Muligatawny Soup from The Daily Soup cookbook (as are many of my friends, especially if I'm making it). However, it doesn't exactly qualify as healthy since it's chock full of potatoes and cream. This red lentil version is every bit as tasty and will stick to your ribs instead of your ass.

Ingredients
1 Tbsp canola oil
2 onions, chopped ($0.88)
2 Tbsp grated fresh ginger
1 clove organic, local garlic, minced ($0.08)
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp garam masala*
2 tsp ground coriander seeds
2 tsp salt
1 tsp tumeric**
1/4 tsp ground cayenne pepper (or to taste)
1 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes ($1.99)
2 cups organic veggie broth (1/2 a box; $1.75)
2 1/2 cups water
12 oz dry red lentils*** ($2.84)
5-7 saffron threads**** (optional)

Directions
Heat oil in stockpot; add onions, garlic, and ginger and sauté until golden brown (about 4 minutes).

Add sugar, garam masala, coriander, salt, tumeric, and cayenne; stir to coat vegetables. Sauté another 2-3 minutes to cook the spices. (This is important!)

Add tomatoes, including juice. Simmer for 5 minutes.

Add broth, water, red lentils, and saffron. Cover and simmer for 25-30 minutes. Blend with immersion blender if desired.

Serve with a dollop of plain greek yoghurt garnish (if you have some).

Makes 6 - 8 servings.
Total cost for the whole shebang: $7.54
Total cost per huge serving: $1.26 - $0.94
-----------
*Garam masala is a mix of spices that are used together so often in Indian cooking that you can buy them premixed. (Sort of like American chili powder, which is salt and achiote and other things premixed.) It's not expensive and can be found in ethnic shops.

**Tumeric is a bright orange ground spice that will stain clothing and white counter tops. It's very cheap and easy to find in ethnic shops. It has a very dry (like dry wine), bitter taste to it, which is why it's important to cook those spices before going on with the dish. This mellows it out considerably.

***Always, always, always pick dry lentils over for sticks and rocks and rinse them until the water runs darn near clean. I say "darn near" because it would be an abomidable waste of water to rinse them until the water actually is clear. I put them in a mesh strainer and submerge the strainer in cold water, dumping out the rinse water each time. After about 6 or 8 turns like that, the lentils are good to go.

****Saffron, of course, is the dried stigma of the saffron crocus and is the world's most expensive spice because each crocus flower only produces two. Ironic I should be using it in a Cheap Eats, no? A friend and I split the cost of a half-ounce some years back, and I figure if I have it on hand, I'm damn well gonna use it. You can skip it, obviously, without really hurting anything.

Zabet's Cheap Eats #3

2009-07-26T19:12:00.004-04:00

Italian Red Beans

Seriously, it's hard to get a good up-close photo with the iPhone, and beans all kind of look the same... Believe me that these don't taste anything like the last batch. Also, these are on the stupidly simple side.

Ingredients
1 lb dried red beans ($1.19)
2 Tbsp Italian seasoning
2 tsp salt
4 cups water
8 oz spicy Italian sausage ($1.25)
2 onions, chopped ($0.88)
1 cup vegetable broth ($0.88)
8 oz small pasta (pick your fave; $0.85)

Directions
Soak beans overnight in cold water. Drain and rinse before cooking.

Put beans, salt, and Italian seasoning in a stock pot with water.

Brown sausage and onion, use the veggie broth to lift up any browned bits sticking to the pan. Add the broth-onion-sausage concoction to the beans.

Let simmer, covered, for about an hour. Let simmer uncovered if it's soupier than you'd like; give it a blend with your immersion blender if you'd like. If you have any fresh spinach on hand, this would be a great time to throw some in to cook about 5 minutes before serving. (I didn't, alas.)

Cook pasta according to directions and serve covered with beans.

This recipe makes 4 - 6 servings, depending on your beans:starch ratio of each serving.
Total cost for the whole shebang: $5.05
Total cost per serving: $1.26 - $0.84

Zabet's Cheap Eats Tip

2009-07-24T10:44:00.002-04:00

But first, a confession: I tend to cook very late at night. Like, 11pm, long after we've eaten dinner. This is because I have never run on a normal schedule, and at 10pm I wake up, bright eyed and bushy tailed and looking for something to do. For an hour I talk myself out of cooking, because it's a big project and I need to go to bed at least by midnight if I am going to get to work no more than an hour late the next day. (I have, thankfully, a fairly flexible workplace that doesn't mind me coming in at 9am because I pretty much work through lunch and am nearly always available to stay a little later.) So, the Kind of a Jerk turkey below? Cooked on Wednesday night, eaten Thursday night. And not with rice, as I was supposing we would, but with quinoa.

Which just so happens to bring me to my tip! Rice is a great way to stretch a meal, though it can be nutritionally dubious. Long grain rices are better than short grain when it comes not spiking your blood sugar as much, and of course brown is better than white. Quinoa, however, blows rice out of the water nutritionally and is a much better choice. It is a little more expensive than rice, but not too bad when buying in bulk. It's also available in VERY expensive, tiny chi-chi boxes labeled "gourmet," which are best ignored. Since we had quinoa in our pantry, I don't have an exact price on hand to give you, but I will check the next time I buy some at Good Foods. As for its nutritional value, check out the links below:

Nutritional Data for cooked long-grain white rice

Nutritional Data for cooked long-grain brown rice

Nutritional Data for cooked quinoa

Zabet's Cheap Eats #2

2009-07-23T09:40:00.003-04:00

Kind of a Jerk

This tasty meat sauce works well over mofongo, rice, fried sweet potatoes, or even in a bread bowl. We're having it over rice, ourselves—gotta keep these eats cheap! This was a bit of an experiment, so take all the spice measurements as estimates and pretty much just work "to taste" for yourself.

Be sure your spices are finely ground, give 'em a go with your mortar and pestle if need be. (Don't tell me you don't have one. That's just barbaric.) Otherwise the end result might be more gritty than you'd prefer.

If you're going to use real cuts of meat, I'd recommend putting all the spices in a little bowl and adding some olive oil to it, then marinate your meat in the oil and spice mixture overnight.

I also sort of wish I had used a stock pot or my gigantic sauté pan for this rather than my frying pan, because once you add all the veg it gets a little tricky to stir.

Ingredients
1 lb ground vegetarian-raised, no-hormones or antibiotics turkey ($3.99)
1 tsp salt
2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/4 tsp ground cayenne
1 Tbsp ground allspice
2 tsp ground cloves
2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 clove local, organic garlic, finely minced ($0.08)
2 tsp fresh ginger paste OR dry ground ginger
1 onions, chopped ($0.88)
1 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes ($1.25)
1 organic, local zucchini ($0.84)
2 cups long grain rice ($1.00)

Directions
Knead spices into ground turkey (as if you're making a meatloaf), then brown spiced turkey on medium-high heat. You want those brown bits to form, that's where the flavor is. Don't worry about the turkey cooking all the way through just yet.

Add onions to the pan and sauté until things are nicely brown but not burnt.

Add juice from the can of tomatoes. Stir until until all the brown that has stuck to the bottom of the pan has been lifted. Add the actual tomato bits and the zucchini.

Cover, reduce heat, and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove cover and simmer for a further 10 minutes, or until the liquid has reduced by about 75%.

Cook rice according to directions and serve, topped with meat sauce.

This recipe makes 4 - 6 servings, depending on your sauce:starch ratio of each serving.
Total cost for the whole shebang: $8.04
Total cost per serving: $2.01 - $1.34

Zabet's Cheap Eats Tip

2009-07-22T12:33:00.003-04:00

I should point out that I tend to drastically undersalt my recipes as compared to the average American. Partially that is because I just don't like my soups and stews and beans to be super salty, part of it is out of consideration for my poor, abused heart and HBP. But, I implore you, GIVE IT A TRY first! You can always add more salt later, and I'll not be offended.

My rule of thumb for salting soup is 2 tsp per 6-8 cups of liquid. I don't ever make a soup that uses less than 6 cups of liquid, so this has served me well. I also use low-sodium broth and stock whenever possible. Beans get a little more salt than my regular soups (to taste, which works out to about a half teaspoon for me).

Zabet's Cheap Eats #1

2009-07-21T18:51:00.004-04:00

Habichuelas con Arroz

This is my first attempt making these Puerto Rican beans, and I did pretty well. My glaring omission was not having any sofrito. I know, the puertoriqueños are cringing to hear me say it. Believe me, I understand the power of good sofrito, I just didn't have a chance to get some before I made these. Even so, they are plenty edible and this recipe makes four HUGE servings.

Ingredients:
16 oz dry pinto beans ($0.99)
1 clove organic, local garlic, minced ($0.08)
2 onions, chopped ($0.88)
1 organic, local red bell pepper ($2.10, the splurge of this dish)
2 Tbsp sofrito - which I left out
2 Tbsp vegetable oil (you should have this on hand)
2 tsp salt (seriously, I'm not putting a price on SALT)
1 tsp pepper (ditto)
1 tsp cumin (ok, I'm not putting a price on spices unless it's saffron)
pinch of oregano
2 cups organic veggie broth (1/2 a box; $1.75)
3 cups water (4 cups for more of a soup)
1/2 cup tomato sauce ($0.50)
1/2 cup butternut squash, cubed (I used an organic, local zucchini; $0.84)
2 cups long grain white rice ($1.00)

Directions:
Pick over beans for rocks and sticks and soak in cold water overnight. Rinse and drain beans before cooking.

In a heavy-bottomed stock pot, auté garlic, onions, red pepper, and sofrito in oil over high heat for 3-5 minutes. Let them get brown but not burnt. Add salt, pepper, cumin, and oregano and stir to coat vegetables.

Add broth and stir until all the brown that has stuck to the bottom of the pan has been lifted.

Add beans, water, tomato sauce, and squash. Bring to a boil and simmer until beans are soft, about 30 minutes.

Cook rice according to directions (usually 3/4-1 cup water per cup of rice). I like to add a little whole cumin seed in along with my rice, but that's optional.

I use my immersion blender on the beans when they are done until they are about half-pureed, so there is a nice mix of thick broth and whole beans.

Total cost for the whole shebang: $8.15
Total cost per huge serving: $2.04
We had this for dinner on both Monday and Tuesday (tonight).

Soon, really!

2009-07-21T14:37:00.002-04:00

I left my breakdown of pricing list at home; will post first Cheap Eats soon!

Zabet's Cheap Eats

2009-07-17T13:23:00.000-04:00

Ok, since we really suckerpunched our budget to get Hubby to Puerto Rico (and to eat so well while there), we are now having to give serious thought to making our dollar stretch to the end of the month. That's the good thing about the bankruptcy: it really makes a household budget quite simple. You have your mortgage, car, utilities, and meds; the rest of your budget is for food, but since you can eat pretty cheap you can squeeze entertainment and travel dollars out of that part of it.

Since I'm determined to not fall into the familiar college-days ramen trap, I figured I'd blog about the tasty and cheap dishes I'm making lately. I'm two meals in already, and I didn't keep exact records on the cost, so I'll estimate it for now but give exact costs on later meals. Same goes for pictures; I don't think you'd fancy me regurgitating my tasty lunch just for a photo op.

I'll start this weekend. I have no idea how many of these posts I'm going to make, so enjoy them while they last! For now let me tell you what I expect a minimally-equipped kitchen to have:

Sundries
* plastic wrap
* aluminum foil

Utensils
* scissors or shears
* whisk
* wide and narrow spatulas (preferably silicone)
* wooden and metal spoons
* measuring spoons
* measuring cups or scale for dry ingredients
* large pyrex measuring cup for liquid ingredients
* set of sharp knives in various sizes
* cutting board

Pots and Pans
* colander or strainer
* baking sheets (with and without rim)
* cooling racks
* mixing bowls in various sizes
* 5 qt (or larger) stock pot
* 9x13" glass baking dish
* 8x8" glass baking dish
* one or two small saucepans
* nonstick frying pan

Equipment
* immersion blender (a MUST if you're into soups, stews, beans, etc., but usually regular blender or even a potato masher or a ricer will do in a pinch)

Puerto Rico Photos

2009-07-12T13:47:00.003-04:00

I am home, I am alive, the cats are pissed at us for having been gone a week.

Click here for frabjuous photos.

I didn't give my presentation all in Spanish because I simply ran out of time, but I did give them bilingual instruction sheets and got to speak a lot of Spanish in general. My good accent got me into trouble because I was mistaken twice for a native speaker and I had to halt a torrent of Spanish with, "Ingles, por favor?" In fact, one of the UPR faculty cornered me at lunch and (politely) demanded an explanation of where I learned such good Spanish. One of the workshop team then piped up with, "She speaks Russian, too!" and I had to then list out every language I'd ever studied, etc.

Puerto Ricans speak Spanish the way the French speak French. Sure, you may write down whole words, but you only need to pronounce half the letters. WOW. My listening comprehension was WAY DOWN on this trip.

Interestingly, being back in Lexington I'm finding Mexican Spanish to be... sort of grating in comparison. Makes me wonder about Cuban Spanish. I think I'll watch Guantanamera again.

I also got outed by our workshop coordinator as being an extracurricular renegade crafter, so I had to show everyone the website and tell them about the book, etc. It was insanely strange.

In general, the people were awesome, the food was incredible, the views were gorgeous and I would totally move there if it weren't for the fact that it was 90º with a heat index of 105º and 85% or more humidity.

Dilemma of the Day

2009-06-26T10:49:00.003-04:00

Ten days until I go to Puerto Rico. Twelve days until I do my presentation. Should I do it in Spanish? I'd have to write it out ahead of time and memorize large chunks of it, but it's not like I couldn't have lecture notes up there with me. And really, the stuff I stand up and say only takes about 10 or 15 minutes. I'm not worried about the memorizing so much, just the grammatical correctness. But in a way I feel like my whole life has been leading up to if not this exact moment, then a moment very similar to it: Standing up and communicating well (if not flawlessly) in another language. Seriously. Know what I did for fun last night? Looked up the past tenses of ser and estar and then read a long list of Spanish idiomatic expressions with verbs. I think if I don't take this chance then I'm going to be very disappointed in myself for a very long time to come.

In which Zabet enjoys Cary Tennis' advice columns much too much.

2009-06-17T09:41:00.004-04:00

I've removed anything that pertains to the specific question asked and left the things that sort of apply in general to getting over past trauma.

"In recovering from such a powerful early experience, we find that education and intellectual understanding are often not enough. They cannot undo traumatic conditioning. What is required is the emotional relearning that takes place in psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral therapy, 12-step programs, somatic therapy, neuro-linguistic programming and the like.

We may struggle for years to cure such traumas by thinking. Meanwhile we live like two separate beings, one responding with animal verve to all the threats and lures that swarm about our streets and doorways, the other supposedly "higher" being bemused by its own inexplicable responses to stimuli....

The astounding fact remains that we cannot think our way out of such conditioning; we must enter the realm of the traumatized animal.... This can be brutally emotional...[i]t can also be enlightening in both connotations: bringing light and relieving weight."
— Cary Tennis

Must. Not. Kill. Faculty.

2009-06-15T09:07:00.003-04:00

Work exploded all over me.

Hello, faculty members? Ultimately YOU are responsible for your own course. YOU need to check it to make sure links aren't broken. YOU need to find new links if there are some that have broken. YOU are the content expert. YOU need to tell me, BEFORE THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES, if your videos aren't working. I don't expect you to know how to fix the videos, but I expect you to know if they aren't working at least a WEEK in advance, if not sooner.

Shame on you overpaid bastards, really. SHAME.

The Defenders

2009-05-29T11:05:00.001-04:00

What Facebook looks like on and around my birthday:

2009-05-05T09:49:00.003-04:00

Zabet Stewart thinks today has gone by fast so far! Her oncoming birthday must be rushing towards her so quickly that it's causing a space/time Doppler effect. Dear Gods, what effect will this have on the LHC? Fuck swine flu, there's gonna be BLACK HOLES in honor of Zabet's birthday!

Zabet Stewart can has birthday!

Zabet Stewart is in your birthday, eatin' yer cupcakes.

Zabet Stewart is in her 33rd birthday, being yer Jesus.

Zabet Stewart orchestrated a swine flu epidemic so she could enjoy her birthday to the sounds of others suffering.

Zabet Stewart thinks all your birthday are belong to her.

Zabet Stewart is in her birthday, creepin' towards death!

Zabet Stewart wonders if anyone on the planet enjoys their birthday as much as she enjoys hers?

Zabet Stewart had Carrie's birthday, but she eated it.

Zabet Stewart thinks there ain't no party like a birthday party 'cuz a birthday party don't stop!

Zabet Stewart loves the UPS store mailbox. It sends her email when she has mail; today, for example, she got two notifications. SHE HAS BIRTHDAY MAIL, HUZZAH! (To be fair she did order some shirts from a catalog last week, so it's not all random birthday goodness, but it feels like presents anyway.)

Zabet Stewart is looking forward to some Vampire-flavored birthday goodness. (Like salty pennies. Yum?)

Zabet Stewart is leaving work early on account of her awesome birthday.

Zabet Stewart can has birthday hugs and ice cream!

Zabet Stewart reminds you that the REAL celebrating starts tomorrow. ALL BIRTHDAY ALL THE TIME!

Zabet Stewart says THANK YOU to everyone who wished her birthday goodness and extra THANK YOU to Raellyn for making awesome cupcakes!

Zabet Stewart should put clothes on if she's going to go out for birthday dinner.

Zabet Stewart got mailed pressies, ate dinner, loved friends, had frabjuous cupcakes, played Rock Band, LOVES THE DRUMS LOVES THEM LOVES THEM MY PRECIOUS LOVES THEM. She awards this birthday 800million points for style. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Dear Idiots Prone to Panic:

2009-05-02T04:41:00.003-04:00

I just did about ten minutes of searching around on the CDC website and learned that in 2005, 62,804 people died of influenza and pneumonia in the United States.

ONE PERSON has died from swine flu in the U.S. Only SIXTEEN have died in Mexico.

So just wash your damn hands and shut. the. fuck. up.

Birthday update to come.

BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY!

2009-04-22T12:47:00.001-04:00

It is almost Bug's birthday which means it's almost my sister's birthday which means it's almost MY BIRTHDAY which is my favorite time of the year!!!!

*does the birthday dance*

Why I don't Twitter

2009-03-25T09:16:00.001-04:00

"Twouble with Twitter" sous-titré
by LePostfr

Sore Shoulder

2009-03-24T19:47:00.003-04:00

But well worth it. We used some of our tax return money to get musical. Hubby got an inexpensive starter electric guitar, and I got the crazy drum controller for Rock Band. (It's basically an electric drum that uses the game as a drum brain. If I get good, next year I can buy an actual brain and play sans a pixelated avatar.)

Parts of using the new controller are natural - hitting the high hat with my right hand while my left hits the snare, for example. Other parts are very UNnatural - like the game not caring if I hit my crash cymbal or my low tom, because they translate to "she hit the green button" for it. So, if I want to play more realistically, I have to either know or anticipate where I'm going in the song. This isn't impossible, but it IS one more thing to pay attention to. Line of green quarter notes with a red (snare) played every 4th beat? I should probably play the cymbal. One hit on each color note ending in two greens? That's probably a fill down the toms ending with a crash. It makes for even more braining during play than I'm used to, but it still so effing fun I can't hardly stand it.

The set is also just physically bigger, wider, than the original controller. That's where the sore shoulder comes into play. Not too sore, not so sore that it's not fine the next day, but sore enough that I realize I'm having to reach to hit the low tom or the crash. Short arms are a handicap for a drummer. Not insurmountable, but noticeable.

I LOVE IT.

Hubby is facing his own challenges on guitar. He's played a little bass, so he's slightly familiar with it, but there are more strings than he's used to. Also, he's got small hands for a guy (no, he's not a carnie), so he doesn't have a much reach as, say, my brother would. Finger strength is also an issue, but nothing that won't improve with practice.

We're practically a band! Hell, we're practically The White Stripes, minus the divorce, hee.

No Joy In Mudville

2009-03-16T09:17:00.004-04:00

My friend Sage over at QN asked me to write a story no more than 500 words long to go with a starting sentence from a vintage pulp fiction novel. She then got someone to read it, added music, and edited the pacing. Click below to hear the result of our collaborations.

No Joy In Mudville at Quirky Nomads
(Approx 6 min. Rated R for language, violence, nudity, and motor oil.)

In my defense, can I say that the sentence—actually, three sentences—she gave me to start the story with were extremely odd.

WTF of the Day

2009-02-20T08:59:00.003-05:00

So, on Facebook, they target you with ads based on your profile info, how you have rated other ads (if any), what groups/causes you've joined and which things you have marked yourself a fan of. Since I am a married woman in my 30s, this means I am bombarded with ads about how to lift my butt/breasts/cheeks/eyelids, how to loose weight, and how to be a great mom. Every now and then I get in a snit and mark these ads "Offensive," but all that's done is convince FB that I am a lesbian with 423,564 cats.

After about a week of not marking any ads "offensive" (which gets tiring, because they every time you mark one, a new one comes up, and it's usually from the same damn people hawking the same damn thing), FB must think I am pregnant, because the number baby-related ads has skyrocketed. Among these is an ad for something I just had to go check out (but NOT by click thru via FB): Child Safety Tattoos. Interesting concept, but if you're going to go through that much trouble it seems to me it might just be easier (and safer, information-wise) to have your child microchipped at the Humane Society. Though I did like the idea of using them as food allergy warnings. But I digress.

My favorite thing is this image. I have to be constantly aware of promoting diversity in my job as a graphic designer. Whoever made their website was not so conscious. This image screams, "Don't worry, we will keep only your precious WHITE children safe, because putting a light background behind that phone number would have been just too much trouble." Yes, they have other designs with backgrounds behind the text, but to pick this as their PRIME EXAMPLE? They might as well have added some expository text that reads, "Hello, I am a racist. I may not actively be a racist, but I've lived in an all-white suburban neighborhood for so long that I've not only forgotten to be afraid of people of color, I've forgotten they exist entirely."

*facepalm*

Poverty of Imagination

2009-02-18T02:13:00.002-05:00

The attempted re-start of revolving debt consumerism is an exercise in futility. We've reached the limit of being able to create additional debt at any level without causing further damage, additional distortions, and new perversities of economy (and of society, too). We can't raise credit card ceilings for people with no ability make monthly payments. We can't promote more mortgages for people with no income. We can't crank up a home-building industry with our massive inventory of unsold, and over-priced houses built in the wrong places. We can't ramp back up the blue light special shopping fiesta. We can't return to the heyday of Happy Motoring, no matter how many bridges we fix or how many additional ring highways we build around our already-overblown and over-sprawled metroplexes. Mostly, we can't return to the now-complete "growth" cycle of "economic expansion." We're done with all that. History is done with our doing that, for now.
—Jim Kunstler of Clusterfuck Nation

Read the entire article here.

On Hiatus Until I Cut My Hair, Anyway

2009-02-13T09:33:00.002-05:00

For those of you friended on Flickr, links to my new hair:

Side | Front | Emo | Back

Wither the blog?

2009-02-10T19:36:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if my blog just had an eight-year expiration date on it or what—let's face it, eight years in internet time might as well be a thousand. But I will tell you that I am currently obsessed with Facebook, obsessed to a degree that I am ashamed to admit. But with my ever-widening circle of friends that I know only (or mostly) on-line, it's difficult to discount how easy FB makes staying in touch.

I'm not abandoning the blog—not yet—but I think it's safe to say that I'm on hiatus. In the meanwhile, you can find me on Facebook.

Well, except for you, Dad, because if you think I drop the f-bomb gratuitously over here you'd hardly be able to make it through a day on FB. I can't help it. It's such a versatile word.

Someone should code a parent-safe application for FB, where you could mark which friends would only get content you mark as suitable. You're welcome in advance for the idea, and you can send royalties to me as your thank-you.

Threes.

2009-01-26T16:21:00.000-05:00

The Leon's uncle. J's dad. Who next? *sigh*

I has a secret confession.

2009-01-21T22:20:00.003-05:00

I've been watching Superstars of Dance on Hulu.

I was sucked in the way any good reality TV show show sucks you in: it's so bad, you can't believe it. It's a slow motion train wreck, how could you look away? Mr. Lord of the Dance himself is hosting (Dear Gods, it could only be better had it been Shatner). So please, judge me not harshly, but with the knowledge that staying away from TV has made me weak and easily hypnotized by the flashing lights.

Some notes to NBC:
1. The tapping noises in at least one of the Irish's pieces were in the music, as I clearly saw him take only three steps that sounded like about 25 last week. I can only assume that all the tapping in the Irish pieces and the jingle-stomping in the Indian pieces are also in the music, which is terribly disappointing.

2. The "fans" of each country are obviously planted. (The producers must have peed themselves in delight when they found an actual Indian couple to stand near the cameras for the Indian cheering.) The signs look as if only one or two people created them all, and they are suspiciously all in English.

3. The Russian judge needs someone to tell him that Yakov Smirnoff's act has already been done.

4. They couldn't get a fucking translator for the Chinese judge? Honestly? Because every judge talks and talks and talks before giving a score, but he just looks uncomfortable and says a number. He didn't even feel comfortable enough with his English skills to say "Ireland" out loud when deciding the tiebreaker between Ireland and Australia—and you know he's not going to ask for one to save face. How freaking inconsiderate and culturally ignorant can the producers be?

5. I adore the Argentinean judge. Whimsy is her bitch. She is entirely inconsistent, capricious, and pompous.

6. I adore the South African judge. He makes Simon Cowell look like Mary Poppins. (The Julie Andrews Mary Poppins, not Mary Poppins as she was originally written.)

7. I suspect the Irish judge has been told by his father that he will judge this entire competition and not complain about it or else his trust fund will be taken away.

8. Is is painfully obvious that while each judge is an expert in her or her own style of dance, none of them were given any information on other forms of dance before this began and they are all hugely unqualified to judge them.

Dear World:

2009-01-21T12:12:00.001-05:00

We, the United States of America, your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4. Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

[Emailed to me from Kirk.]

Dream

2009-01-16T09:25:00.002-05:00

I dreamt this morning that Hubby and I were traveling around NZ looking for a man named Steve. I was trying to call him on my cellphone but kept getting Ruth (Woolly) instead, who apparently had moved to NZ and opened up a shop. Every time I misdialed I'd have this sort of out-of-body experience, seeing the patio at Ruth's shop. It was screened in and had a fireplace...or maybe it was a piano? Anyway. We came across a truck that had spilled its cargo of pipes across the road, and a cop gave us an escort around it.

Lucky

2009-01-12T10:58:00.002-05:00

Ok, so skip back a few entries to the "wah, 2008 SUCKED" and the "ok, must find 2008's silver lining" posts.

Remember how I talk about how lucky I am? Well, I just found a little over SEVENTY HOURS of vacation time that I thought I had used but actually hadn't. Apparently I had accidentally counted the time off for the cruise twice in my spreadsheet. Now, remember how I said like I don't feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do? Well, finding these vacation hours is like finding free time in your jeans pockets when you pull them out of the dryer. Can you believe it? I barely can, myself.

Dear Universe: I. Love. You.

I wish you could see how big my smile is right now, because I'm going to do some really cool shit this year. Aw, yeah.

My Kingdom for a Sleep

2009-01-07T12:38:00.002-05:00

I was pretty worried about transitioning back to work after 14 days or so of vacation and sleeping in my wacky sleep pattern (~3a to ~11a), but things went well.

Until I needed to finish the AC. Because, you know, I haven't had 14 days or so of vacation in which to finish it. *facepalm*

So I was up all night working. Well, to be honest, I accidentally crashed for about 90 minutes there at the end. Poor Hubby. He practically had to scrape me out of bed. I brushed my hair by raking my fingers through it. I honestly canNOT remember if I brushed my teeth. (I did get a mint at work once I realized I couldn't remember if I brushed my teeth.)

When I got into work there was a flurry of activity that helped me focus and stay alert. It's lightened now and things are starting to get hazy. Hence the blogging.

Whee?

Flight Safety

2009-01-06T12:31:00.006-05:00

Last night I dreamt about crashing in an airplane.

It started off driving around Boston with AFP. We had to get to the airport. I was flying somewhere... maybe Korea, maybe England. I'm not sure.

There was drama at the airport. I had missed my flight. AFP and I ran into friends (S, E, Hubby, and Tim), who were also going to wherever I was going. I think at this point it became England, because of course Tim would be going home. After some shouting, we all managed to get tickets on the same flight, though our seats weren't near each other.

We got on the airplane. It was an odd plane, not a style I'd seen before. It was like a large commuter plane. There was a 2-3-2 seating arrangement, but each seat was like a captain's chair with a decent amount of room. The upholstery was a burnt orange sort of color. There were maybe 28 seats total in the economy section. We took our seats, but then as soon as we pushed back from the gate everyone stood up and started swapping places because the flight was only about half full. I got up and went up and down the aisles looking for people I knew to get them to come back to my area where there were a lot of empty seats. Mind you, this is AS the plane is taking off. I found everyone but Tim, so I went into the business class (about 12 seats in navy blue) to look for him. He wasn't there, and on the way back to economy I got lost and ended up in a papier-mâché hold. Yes, really.

I tripped and ended up on the floor. It was cold. There were windows, covered over in plastic sheeting. The sheeting bulged inwards (which makes no sense because at higher altitudes gas EXPANDS, but whatever, dream-brain) and I could make out the shapes of snowcapped mountains through the milky plastic. I remember thinking that this was not good, that the fuselage would be compromised, when of course the sheeting ripped away from the windows letting in frigid 30,000ft. high air. This caused some problem in the starboard engine, and suddenly, we were crashing.

Instinctively, I knew we were crashing in the Andes, and that we'd have to eat each other like that soccer team. Somehow, though, the pilots pulled off an amazing emergency landing on a snow-covered slope. We were still stranded in the Andes, but considering I was in a papier-mâché hold under the plane and wasn't crushed to death, I figured this was a plus.

I ripped my way out of the plane and gathered with my friends and Hubby. Tim had turned into Jack Black. Then I woke up.

Sources:
1) Talking about death with dad and Connie with weekend, and how it's safer to fly than to drive on Sunday afternoon.
2) Pictionary with Tim on Sunday morning.
3) Hanging out with S and E on New Year's Eve.
4) Learning about LeakyCon in Boston last night.
5) Tenacious D and Dresden Dolls/AFP on infinite repeat in my brain.

Rquired Reading

2009-01-04T18:53:00.001-05:00

Why Consumption Matters by Dave Tilford

zomg

2009-01-02T00:58:00.003-05:00

We're in the Wellington City Libraries (Te Matapihi Ki Te Ao Nui) collection, and a "pick" in June 2008! Huzzah and kia freaking ora!

Sadness

2008-12-30T18:18:00.003-05:00

I returned the drums today. They really were just impossibly loud for a house connected to two other houses. I'm looking into electronic drums (which sadly Doo Wop doesn't rent). Maybe I'll give in to the Ion Drum Rocker, since I can always buy a brain for it later. It depends on what Casa de Rock Band has to say and how fast I can save up some money, which is thin on the ground these days.

Awww.

2008-12-28T19:32:00.001-05:00

Can't. Stop. Myself.

2008-12-26T03:28:00.002-05:00

So I've been watching this anime series today, Hell Girl. The basic premise is that if you are wronged you can visit a website (that only appears at midnight and is only visible to those seeking vengence) and summon Hell Girl, who will come and whisk your tormentor away to Hell. The catch, however, is that when you die you have to go to Hell, too, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

And the point that all the characters are hung up on is you are damning someone to eternal Hell and not crap, if I do this I have to go to eternal Hell. It's really hurting my brain. There's a journalist who wants to stop Hell Girl, which I don't understand because she totally gives everyone an out clause and it's all about free will. His daughter, who is of an indeterminable anime age (not old enough for high school, but acting much too old for how old she looks), thinks that Hell Girl is awesome for punishing bad guys to the point of declaring she'd call up Hell Girl in an instant if journalist-dad was killed. And yet he's unable to say to her, "I appreciate that you love me enough to want revenge on anyone who kills me, but I love you too much to think you'll be tortured for all eternity." Instead he just wails about how wrong she is, causing major father-daughter rift. (You know we're headed to her calling Hell Girl on pops if we continue down this road, right?)

And every episode has Hell Girl repeating her disclaimer: Remember you, too, will go to Hell, bitches! (Paraphrased.) Who thinks this is a good deal? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Hell Girl even includes a sneak Hell peek for the potential client. And still people take her up on it! For twenty episodes now!

Quiet Day

2008-12-25T22:48:00.003-05:00

I woke up early, my stomach aching from late-night pancakes. And I do mean early folks. The sun had not yet risen. Luckily most of my internet friends are ~~complete freaks~~ morning people. I took this pic after a little bit of chatting, in order to explain WHY it was much to early to play Settlers of Catan online. It's not even like was in the office to avail myself of the coffee my the programmers keep freshly preparing! I had to make tea! Myself! Imagine a zombie making tea. That was me this morning at o'dark-thirty. (Note to self: We are out of Irish Breakfast.)

After tea we played some Scrabble. Then I half-dozed for about an hour until Hubby got up. We puttered around, him cleaning and I cooking. My stomach decided to get more forceful, which made me wonder if it was the leftover calzone rather than the pancakes... or maybe the combination? At any rate, I canceled all further plans for the day. Hubby went off to watch Doctor Who Series 4 with friends. I eventually got a nap and a shower, and finally, about 12 hours after originally waking up, I felt human. This led to some very mellow anime watching + knitting, which brings me to now.

I have a headache. Apparently I've forgotten to take my BP pills today, for all Tim's insistence. Hubby came home with one as well; I suspect because he hadn't had anything real to eat all day.

So, pretty much anything before 10am and after 7pm has not been a bad day at all. The bits in the middle were questionable, but the rest have had either good people or quiet restfulness.

That's the cue for me to come down with a crazy insomnia/cabin fever combo, isn't it? Oh well. It was nice while it lasted!

The Christmas Spirit

2008-12-24T00:01:00.002-05:00

I am pre-blogging this so that I don't forget:

"...Christmas Eve Day! Both an Eve and a Day! It's a Christmas miracle!"
—Agent Booth, Bones, Season 1, Episode 9

(ETA: also from the same character, same episode: "Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.")

Bright Spots

2008-12-23T12:13:00.003-05:00

Ok, so after my last post about how much 2008 sucked—which it did, and mightily—I started thinking and figured it would be just as important to pull out the good things that happened to keep myself from entering that year-end downward spiral.

It was the first year of the AC with Ne, which was good and bad and wonderful and bittersweet all at once. My editors, they fucking rock, even when mistakes are made (mine or theirs). I must admit that picking out four total strangers and adding them to the AC mix was a potentially disastrous decision, but it worked. We really are a team, we really do enjoy each other's company, we really do keep crankin' it out. And honestly, I'd say this year that I've messed up more on the AC than they all have put together, mostly with my lack of time management skilz.

I met a lot more crafters this year and made new friends and good connections. I'm actually pretty well set to do some majorly awesome things if I can just get my act together. 2009 is fairly full of promise in this respect. This is why the "I feel like I'm always behind" wail from the previous post is so distressing. I don't want to miss these opportunities, but I don't want to live on the edge of complete collapse from exhaustion like I did in college. I just physically can't anymore, not without serious days upon days of recharge time, which are not available when one has a full time 8a-5p day job.

But best and most recently, I got to really stretch my illustrating wings for some CD cover art, which is my secret passion:

2008

2008-12-22T15:44:00.002-05:00

This year has not been very fun.

I feel like I'm behind all the time.

Like all I want to do is work on the AC and yet when I have time all I want to do is anything but work at all.

As miserable as the cruise was, it was nice to be completely cut off from everything and everyone for five whole days.

I feel like I need a month off to 1) be lazy long enough to get bored of it and actually do something, 2) catch up on the AC, 3) organize my projects at work and start actually working on them.

Watching Hubby get ass-raped at work day after day has not been fun. In theory this is supposed to get better as we've hired someone, but watching Hubby be disappointed that it wasn't him isn't fun either.

We declared bankruptcy this year. I hadn't said anything on here because I didn't want it to be something that I dragged along and whinged about all year. But it basically took all year, and we got a little screwed in the process because our lawyer promised one thing and delivered another and never ever took a breath to say she was sorry. We'll survive, but this entire year has been so full of elevated-and-then-crushed hopes that I'm just exhausted thinking about it.

I feel trapped in this state - this mental state and this physical commonwealth.

I can only guess this is why I'm spending so much time crushing on Tim's voice. It's a pastime, an amusing and non-threatening escape, a chance to be 12 years old again except this time you know the guy really does kinda like you back. Let's call him Cute John v 2.0.

I'm usually so lucky, I wonder what happened this year. Or perhaps my year was slated to be much worse and this IS me being lucky.

2008, I won't miss you a lick. 2009, I'll only love you because I hope you are leading to the sweet oblivion of 2012. If the world doesn't end, I'm going to be so. very. disappointed.

Christmas Meme

2008-12-21T00:23:00.003-05:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper and fabric ribbons.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
No tree.

3. Why are you willing to answer these questions?
Brain is too awake to sleep just yet.

4. When do you take the tree down?
No tree = no taking tree down issue.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Not really.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Porcelain doll head on a pillow.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
Hubby's mother.

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Hubby.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
That's a big NO.

10. Do you send your card by mail or e-mail?
Snail mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Porcelain doll head on a pillow.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I don't really shop for Christmas anymore. It's kinda nice.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Joe Froggers. Pancakes. Shortbread. Gingerbread.

16. Lights on the tree?
No tree.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
"Drop the Needle, It's Christmas" by Harry and the Potters

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Depends. If it's my year for Christmas we always stay home and sleep late and have a pancake breakfast at about 2pm.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s?
There is no way in which that can be answered. Now, I can name all of Santa's reindeers' names, or I can name all of Santa's reindeers. Is that what you meant?

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
No tree, but back when trees did happen, we used a cardboard star covered in tin foil.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Morning. You Eve openers are greedy.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Unbridled greed and rampant consumerism.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Natural stuff. Holly and greenery.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Nochabuena yummies: garlic-lime pork loin, black beans, rice, Cuban bread if I'm feeling really domestic.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
For it to go away forever and people to realize that 1) Christ was not born on Dec 25, 2) if you are going to be generous you should spread it out because there is need all year long, and 3) there is nothing--NOTHING--in a Wal-Mart worth being trampled to death for.

An Open Letter to my Brother Upon the Occasion of Receiving a Christmas Card from Him

2008-12-18T18:49:00.002-05:00

Seriously? You don't know my LAST NAME? (Which, coincidentally, HAS NEVER CHANGED IN THIRTY TWO YEARS, NOT EVEN ONCE.) But you DO know Hubby's?

WTF?

Epic fail, dude. EPIC.

From Rev. Billy Talen and the Church of Stop Shopping

2008-12-14T11:46:00.003-05:00

A note he left on Facebook:

"In the long-ago Greek plays a god would fly in on a device that swung on ropes and see that the stage was full of human beings who were in a terrible fix, with lots of confusion, murder and mayhem. The god then told all the actors to get along, turned and gave the audience the moral to the story, and ended the play. But you had to have a gut-wrenching build of drama, with everyone in a complete and utter quandary, a cliff-hanger, out of control… then that very human middle act made the god great and necessary.

Real life always has that crazy coming-apart point, too. Amen? And we have powerful institutions, traditions, "gods" - that we count on to intervene on our lostness, as we act out mysteriously. But lately, we Americans have turned our lives over to a belief system that completely bans that mystery – we actually request that God take over the stage in the first act.

In the culture of the United States we have a destructive fundamentalist faith called Consumerism. The high priests of this culture stand at the locked door to a vast area of mystery, understood only by that privileged few. These are the gods of high finance, corporations, globalization. These "Masters of the Universe" tell us Americans what we can and cannot do, and they walk right out onto the stage of our lives and start bossing us around, fully instructing us on what to do with our day, how to behave, how to dream, how to raise our kids…

We need to manage the stories of our lives so that we experience the utter confusion and directionlessness that always precedes learning. We want falling so we can find balance. We need darkness to have light. We know this in our bones. It’s that falling and that darkness, the outrageous middle act without any clear answers – that is the mystery that we must insist on. It sets the stage for the entrance of the powerful teacher, the caretaker of the mysteries, the "god."

Santa Clause is a major year-round god, straight from the mysterious north, flying through the sky, shouting Ho Ho Ho and evidently walking around in our homes at night. He hangs logos over the children's beds. He starts his Muzak before Labor Day. He sees profit centers everywhere. Santa says Christmas is his story. Obviously he is sent by Wall Street and he arrives in our play in Act One ... He shows up too soon.

We Americans are trying to reclaim our good story now, in the winter of 08 and 09, as the Wall Street gods fall from the heights, the Obama administration arrives, and Christmas is left unguarded. Recent polls show the Christmas Revolution in full swing. 67% of all Americans say that they will shop less this Christmas. At our church we're getting emails daily. Seemingly ordinary families send us startling descriptions of very home-made holiday celebrations. The middle act is making a comeback.

The giving of a gift and receiving of a gift between loved ones is the most mysterious of human acts. Something always happens beyond whatever strategies we had in mind in giving a "good gift." Let’s take a look at this. Say you give me a gift and so I accept it and hold it in my hand. I'm very curious, feeling the weight and wondering about sounds or a shape under the wrapping. As I open the gift, you and I are exchanging glances, and then the mysteries start building. Here is life's riddle, and it is a wondrous feeling made of questions, not answers. It's a compressed version of a good story.

You and I don't know for sure what our responses are… We have no script from Santa Claus. Christmas is powerless. It can’t make us conform. For a moment Christmas is actually forgotten. In the slow motion of our gift-giving -- we have a rich concoction of memories, regrets, crushes on the same person, histories, strange weather on the beach -- our minds seem to invite many vivid, conflicting things. If we really love each other and the gift is OURS - then the experience sets us in motion through a door to an unplanned-for place. Where do we end up with this gift? We don’t know and there’s a sensual pleasure for us in the unknowable. We’re keeping the god away – for now.

Closing prayer:

Let us make our Christmas Revolution. May our giving be the radical seed, the increasing light and heat of the solstice. May our giving be the promise of unpredictable Spring. May our giving be revolutionary, the recombinant moment that improves us all. May this be the real giving that makes our evolution work. May our gift economy fire the wrong gods, and give the right care-takers of our mystery their cue to enter of the stage of our lives when the play needs to come to an end. Amen."

Why Don't I Just Bend Over This Barrel For You?

2008-12-12T17:15:00.003-05:00

In October, my usually directly deposited paycheck mysteriously showed up on my desk at work. Now, since I've had direct deposit for eight years, I'm not the first to grab what is my paystub and open it up. No, I waited ONE DAY. Upon opening, I realized I had an actual check, and I raced to deposit it. Of course, I wasn't fast enough to avoid getting slammed with $64 in insufficient funds fees. The payroll department told me they would refund that to me, which they did.

No, they didn't. They asked the bank to refund the fees on my behalf. Which was fine, except that apparently you only get ONE "goodwill fee refund" a YEAR now. (Or maybe it was always that way, I just never needed it.)

Fast forward to Tuesday, when we got the car out of the body shop (from when I was hit in Kansas in September). This is DON JACOBS BODY SHOP, folks, and you might want to avoid them after you hear this. We were given a quote that jived with the check the offending driver's insurance sent us (about $1400), so we said, yes, go on with it. Well, at no time during the process when they checked back with me did anyone say it had gone over quote. I sent Hubby to pick up the car, we had deposited the insurance company's check, so he paid for it with the debit card.

I've been sick. I've been out of the office on Wednesday, half of Thursday, and today, in fact. Remember how I've said before that I look at our checking account EVERY MORNING? Not while sick I haven't. Last night I looked and we were mysteriously overdrawn by about $250. What did it? The payment that was about $550 more than it should have been to Don Jacobs.

So, ok, I should have been paying more attention. Hubby should have been paying more attention. However, Don Jacobs should have brought it to my attention that repairs had gone over quote. It was not pointed out to Hubby when he made the payment, or he would have called me to make sure I knew. (We do have our acts together at least that much!) A call to Don Jacobs has them scrambling, but in a way doesn't really help because nothing is going to credit until Monday and we have family gatherings this weekend that require gas for travel and ingredients for potlucks. I called the bank to see about having the insufficient funds fees removed because this domino effect wouldn't have happened had we been charged correctly by Don Jacobs to begin with, and Don Jacobs does at least seem to think they have transgressed in some way or else they wouldn't be trying to fix it. However, this is where Paragraph 2 comes back into play.

And we wonder why people who are trying to get their financial lives back in order have so much trouble? I am tempted to try to live without a checking account entirely, but I know that it would create even more hassle. As it is, I can open my bank's website and pay every single bill for a month in about five minutes. Seeing as how I'm the girl who can't get to the Post Office to mail things she promised to friends months ago, how well do you think this would play out if I had to get money orders for all my bills and then mail them?

Sage's voice in the back of my mind repeats, "First World problem. First World problem. First World problem." I know she's right. I have a house with heat, hot and cold running potable water, a job with decent medical care, I don't live in fear of being bombed or raped, and we own a freaking Prius for the love of all that's holy. I need to shut the fuck up. It's just so frustrating to be working inside the system and still getting screwed—it also points out how much everyone else is also getting screwed. Why are we even using this system if we're all being screwed?